Relationship counselling and couples therapy in Solihull and on-line
As the New York relationship expert, Esther Perel, observes: “it is the quality of our relationships which determines the quality of our lives”. Most of us would also agree that relationships are amongst the hardest challenges we have ever faced. The early days of a new relationship can make us feel incredibly good, however, when we lose connection, intimacy and, even worse when there is conflict, life can be very hard. When there are children involved the difficulties are even greater.
I have thousands of hours of training and experience in couples therapy including via the national charity Relate (the former Marriage Guidance Council) and many other methodologies. This gives me flexibility to tailor what I offer to suit the individual circumstances and needs of couples. One of the many sources of expertise I draw on, for example, is The Gottman Institute which uses a scientific and research-based approach to relationships success. I also draw on EFT (Emotionaly Focused Therapy) which can significantly reduce conflict and improve communication.
For over 4 decades the Gottman’s studied thousands of couples identifying the most effective ways to help them to strengthen their relationships. They developed a theory called The Relationship Sound House which identifies 9 components of healthy relationships.
Using this and other methods I can help couples, and individuals within a relationship, to learn to repair past hurts and to replace negative conflict patterns. Our process is designed to recover and increase closeness and intimacy, to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection and create positive changes. Importantly, we can also help couples to avoid lapsing back into old unhelpful patterns.
The couples I have worked with have reported improvements in the following areas:
Overcoming the pain and heartache caused by infidelity
Restoring trust and enhancing connection
Improved verbal and non-verbal communication
Increased intimacy, friendship, respect and affection
Removal of barriers and feelings of stagnancy
Creation of a heightened sense of empathy and understanding
I work without expectations, agenda or pressure and I address the issues you bring to counselling at your pace. It is possible to have individual as well as joint sessions and if you decide to separate rather than stay together I will also support you through this process. In this case, we can draw on the approach of “conscious uncoupling” made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow when she split from Chris Martin. This approach can help to relieve as much stress and animosity as possible. When children are involved this can also make a huge difference to their lives and to their futures.
I offer appointments by phone and video from Solihull, West Midlands, B91.